


How Come He Gets Two Dads?

by TheAsexualofSpades



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Protective Deceit | Janus Sanders, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:29:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29277747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAsexualofSpades/pseuds/TheAsexualofSpades
Summary: Virgil somehow got two dads and no one's really sure how it happened.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 19
Kudos: 214





	How Come He Gets Two Dads?

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the request! It was fun!

**Prompt:** Just binged like ALL your Sanders Sides content and WOW. Could you maybe possibly write Parental moceit to Virgil? I remember laughing so hard at the mention of them in another work, and wow, I did not realize how badly that dynamic was needed. You can totally say no! Happy new year and may 2021 be a more manageable year for you!!

* * *

So no one _really_ knows how this happened? Not really?

Look, alright, here’s what people _do_ know.

They know that before the Sides were separated, when the Mindscape was more a blob of colors and shapes and ideas and _things,_ there were little purple spaces that stuck close together. There were little purple things that did not like the loud noises and bright colors of Outside and huddled for warmth in the corners. There were little red and green and blue things that would explore and dart around and thrill in the Outside. There were other colors that the purple thing could not name but they would be there.

There would be a little yellow in the corners too.

They know that when the Sides _did_ get separated, when the bright red and the light blue and the dark blue went one way, the purple did not go. Instead, the purple stuck close to the yellow and curled up in the dark, where it was safe.

They know that when they started to get their shapes for the first time, the purple got its shape just before the yellow did. The purple was small, skittery, many legs to run with and many eyes to see with. The yellow became long, flexible, with great reach and powerful muscle. The yellow would curl about the purple and they would be safe down here, in the dark.

They know that when _Virgil_ blinked his eyes open for the first time, there was a gloved hand on his face, gently asking him if he could see.

They know that when the spider would skitter upwards and find somewhere high, high up, out of reach, away from everyone else, only the snake knew where to look to coax him back down.

They know that when Virgil was summoned for the first time, he snapped onto the staircase and they have no choice but to see what he has to say.

They know that as he stuck around, as he started to appear more and more often, the light blue side with glasses started to…pay attention.

They know that he is afraid, all the time, of things they can’t see or hope to stop, and the last thing he needs is to have to guess and guess and guess. So when the light blue side never said something he didn’t mean, well…he let himself hope.

They know that when he said his name for the first time, it was awful and terrifying and the worst decision he’d ever made…until it wasn’t.

They know he’s here to stay now.

So that’s roughly what happened, yeah? Great. Cool.

Here’s what Virgil knows.

He knows Janus was the first Dark Side—thanks, Princey, great name—to actually _get_ control of his form. Remus and Virgil might’ve been formed earlier, but Janus got himself around this whole having-a-human-shape thing quick. He remembers blinking open human eyes for the first time and flailing with limbs he didn’t understand how to control and having gloved hands soothe him, a soft voice in the darkness, gleaming yellow scales.

“Shh, shh,” the voice hisses softly, “you’re alright. Take a minute, it’s going to take some getting used to.”

“What—what happened to me?”

“You’ve gotten a shape,” the voice says, a gloved hand stroking down this new shoulder, “that’s all.”

“But I—I _had_ a shape and it was fine and why’d they have to change it I don’t like it—“

“Shh,” the voice hisses again, another gloved hand wrapping around his new waist—he’s bigger now, why is he bigger? Now he can’t hide as easily— “take a breath.”

He gasps for air, not knowing how these lungs work, how much air this new shape needs. The gloved hands don’t leave him, just holding him gently. The voice has a shape too, is it like his new one?

The figure comes closer and—

“Why—why do you have more?”

“More what?” The figure raises its other hands. “More of these?”

“Y-yeah.”

The figure chuckles. “I don’t know. Perhaps this is my shape.”

“You—you don’t _know?_ ” Does that mean this might not be his shape? Is it going to keep changing? It is ever going to _stop_ changing?

“Shh, shh,” the figure says as he begins to spiral, reaching to curl the other arms around him. “Shh, it’s alright. Just focus on _me,_ alright?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and burrows into the figure, focusing on the hands—they’re still hands, right?—on his shape, holding him tight to this new shape, curling up small, small, can this shape still be small?

He can still be small. Here, if he curls up tight enough, the figure’s shape has enough to wrap around him completely.

He knows that he never completely stopped wanting to be small. He knows that Janus knows that too. When they were younger, they would curl around each other in the dark, Janus whispering something quietly to help Virgil breathe through the panic. He knows that when he finally got used to his body, the first thing he did was try and return the favor.

“You don’t need to do that, honey,” Janus murmurs, wrapping his arms around Virgil too, “I’ve got other things that you can help me with.”

“But that’s not fair!” Virgil wraps his arms tightly around Janus and plants his chin on his chest. “You help me, and you said that we have to be nice to the people who are nice to us.”

“That’s right, but that means helping them in the ways they need help.” Janus smiles and tucks Virgil a little closer to his chest. “You need help in that way, and I need help in other ways. But yes, you can cuddle me if you want to.”

Virgil had huffed and refused to move for a while. Janus _had_ told him at a later point that he struggles with keeping warm. And then what was Virgil supposed to do, _not_ hug him? Fat chance.

He knows that when he was summoned for the first time, he clung to gloved hands as hard as he could, not wanting to go, they wouldn’t like him, he doesn’t know how to live in the light, he doesn’t—he doesn’t want—

He snapped into the light and blinked awake, up at different people. He knows them. They don’t like him.

Then they…did?

He knows they didn’t like Janus. They didn’t like Janus because they didn’t _know_ what was going on when they weren’t forcing him into their neat little boxes.

And he…

Janus doesn’t really hold grudges, not like…not like _that._ But he knows that when he looked at Janus and told him he wasn’t so sure they were friends, he knows that hurt.

He spent hours in his room that night, spiraling into whirlpool after whirlpool, thinking he should go apologize, he should say something, he should—he should—

He _abandoned_ Janus. He abandoned Remus. He—

He’d _replaced_ them.

Because now there was Patton.

Patton was soft in a different way than Janus was. Janus was an enigma that had no trouble cutting anyone down to size with a well-placed quip, someone who was _never_ caught unawares. So having him change, let that go, gentle enough to be soft with Virgil was…heady.

Patton is soft with _everybody._ And maybe that means that it should feel less special, or that it shouldn’t be that meaningful, but it isn’t. Patton welcomed Virgil in without a second thought and it was…nice.

It was nice to shuffle a little awkwardly and have Patton _instantly_ know what to do. It was nice to…learn how to ask for what he wanted and know that Patton would respect it. It was nice to be… _rewarded_ for working to be better with the others.

Then the whole…wedding thing happened.

Virgil wasn’t there. Not for the really bad parts. He was there for the courtroom fiasco, he was there for Remus coming back— _that_ was something he didn’t really count on, but hey, isn’t that Remus’s MO?—but he wasn’t there for the wedding.

It was…bad.

He remembers coming back and seeing the Mindscape in chaos. And what made it so much _worse_ is that there _was_ no chaos.

Patton was alone outside his room.

Roman never left his.

Logan was cold.

Janus was… _here._

And Remus was far too entertained by everyone realizing that there wasn’t much to be gained from sticking to black and white to care about helping fix it.

See? Chaos.

In fact, the _only_ people who seemed to be on okay terms with each other _were_ Janus and Patton, which was…fine, but still weird.

Virgil didn’t want to come out of his room for a long time after he realized _that._

No one did much of anything for a while. Not just because there was a pandemic going on. But no one wanted to be the one to start offering olive branches. Well, except for Patton. But no one other than Janus was really ready to start accepting them yet either. They were stuck.

Virgil and Remus stuck together now. Remus would conjure up _something_ in the Imagination and Virgil would wait for Remus to get back and barge into his room to annoy him. And it was _surprisingly_ not that annoying.

“Well,” Remus declares, flicking something that Virgil doesn’t even _want_ to try and name off his shoulder, “the others aren’t any fun to annoy.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Oh please, Patton’s gonna try too hard to listen to me and not hear a word I’m saying. Logan’s locked his door and even _I_ know better than to try and get it there. Annoying Roman is no fun if he’s already upset. And Janny’s used to me.”

Virgil sighs. “They really are fucked, aren’t they?”

Remus shrugs. “You blame them?”

“No. Not really.”

“So what’re you gonna do?”

Well, there’s not much Virgil _can_ do, except plonk himself on the couch with his headphones and scroll. Sure enough, Patton emerges first.

“V-Virgil?”

Virgil raises an eyebrow and looks down at himself. “Pretty sure, yeah.”

“What—you’re…here.”

“Uh-huh. You doin’ alright, Pat?”

“Um—“ Patton shakes himself, he _really_ doesn’t look good— “yeah, Virgil, I’m…I’m doing okay.”

“Uh-huh.” Virgil just looks back at his phone. “Good talk.”

“Good…good talk.”

It takes a few more minutes for Janus to appear. He’s got this thing where he just…strides out of the shadows and Virgil’s gotta take a second to convince his brain that he wasn’t just standing there the whole time. He’s _really_ good at that. Uh-huh. Definitely.

Well, if Janus wasn’t here before, he sure as hell would be now.

Janus opens his mouth, looking at Patton, only to stop halfway and turn, eyes widening when he sees Virgil. Virgil looks up and gives him a lazy salute.

“Hey.”

“…hello,” Janus says, tilting his head, “I _certainly_ expected to see you here.”

“That’s my schtick, showing up where I’m not wanted.”

“That’s not true!”

“I didn’t say that.”

Virgil smirks when Janus and Patton say the exact same thing, watching them glance at each other. Ah. So it’s _this_ dynamic. Great. Whenever Princey’s feeling better, he’s gonna have a fucking _field_ day.

Speaking of which...that might be a good idea.

“Since you’re here,” Janus says, snapping him back, “I suppose that you _aren’t_ interested in figuring out what happened.”

In the kitchen, Patton’s clattering slows.

“Nah, not really,” Virgil sighs, “I can guess.”

“You can…guess?”

“You _do_ realize no one’s done like…anything for a while, right?” He jerks his chin toward the floor. “Except for Remus. He’s still working on…whatever he’s working on.”

He can _see_ the instant Janus’s expression goes from guarded to fondly exasperated. “He has remembered to turn _off_ the chainsaw when he’s not using it, hasn’t he?”

“Listen, if _you_ wanna go be the one to check that, you be my guest.”

“After all this time _surely_ it’s your turn.”

“Nah.”

“Virgil,” Patton calls from the kitchen, “ _is_ it your turn?”

“No.”

Janus just raises an eyebrow.

“ _Fine,_ ” Virgil huffs, getting up off the couch, “but I’m not cleaning it.”

Janus tilts his head.

“What?”

“Virgil…” Comes Patton from the kitchen.

“Oh my god _fine._ ”

Virgil sinks out and only realizes after he’s seen that Remus has, in fact, remember to turn off the chainsaw that, uh…what the _fuck_ just happened?

He doesn’t manage to keep that part to himself.

“Ooh, tell me tell me tell me!” Remus hops up onto a crate and crosses his legs, his head on his hands. “Was it gross?”

“...no?”

“Slimy?”

“How is something slimy and not automatically gross?”

“ _I_ don’t think it is but you lot do.”

“Okay—no, first off, but also no it wasn’t slimy.”

“Furry?”

“The something was not a creature, Remus.” Remus pouts. “It wasn’t anything.”

“Don’t summon Janny down here.”

“Okay, okay, fine, it’s just…” Virgil takes a deep breath and scrubs his hands over his face. “I think I just got parented by Patton _and_ Janus.”

“Wait, wait, _what?_ ” Remus bounds to his feet. “They don’t agree on _anything._ ”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“But they—huh. Okay, we gotta look into this.”

“What do you mean _we?_ ”

“Well, you said they parented _you._ ”

“Okay, and?”

“So get them to do it again!”

“Rem—“ Virgil sighs. “This is not like some _voluntary_ thing. I don’t know what happened or why they just _decided_ to—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, excuses, excuses.”

“I’m not making excuses!”

Remus waves a hand. “Semantics. So they’re gonna co-parent you, huh?”

“ _What?_ ”

“Well, aren’t they?”

Hello yes, can everyone just press the ‘pause’ button for one goddamn second, please? Because Virgil has no idea what’s going on and he would very much _like_ to figure that out.

“I’m _so_ confused right now.”

Remus chuckles. “Nah. You’re gonna do great.”

“Do? Do what?”

Remus grins. “We’re gonna see if this is true.”

“What the—you could just _ask_ them, you know.”

Remus crosses his arms. “What do you _think_ is gonna happen if I do that?”

Well, Patton’s either going to feel like he needs to pull back and let Janus do it, or he’s gonna squee and smother Virgil. Janus will either leave again—which is _never_ allowed to happen again—or Virgil won’t hear the end of this until…ever.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “that’s fair.”

“Come on!”

“Rem—!”

Virgil doesn’t even have time to finish his _word_ before Remus is grabbing him and sinking them both out. They appear back in the living room as Virgil drops _right_ back to the couch because damnit he _just_ wanted to sit here on his phone.

“Remus,” he hears Janus say, “what a pleasant surprise.”

“I know, isn’t it?”

“Did you turn the chainsaw off?”

“Dunno.”

Janus just sighs and looks at Virgil. Virgil shrugs. Janus raises an eyebrow.

“Virgil,” Patton calls—because of _course_ now they’re just going to be doing this _all_ the time—“did he?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.”

Remus, meanwhile, is having the absolute time of his _life._

_“Shut up,_ Remus,” Virgil mutters, “leave me alone.”

“Can do!” Remus just grabs Janus’s hat and runs to the kitchen, conveniently forgetting that Janus can just…stretch and get it back. “Hey!”

“Oh come on, I taught you that trick.”

Remus blows a raspberry and joins Patton. Janus shakes his head fondly and sits on the couch next to Virgil. Virgil glances over, noticing the way Janus’s hands twitch. He shuffles close enough to lay his head on Janus’s shoulder.

Janus stiffens.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Janus’s head turn slowly, almost as if he doesn’t believe that this is happening. Virgil doesn’t pull away. After a few moments, he relaxes carefully.

“…Virgil?”

“Yeah.”

“You…”

Virgil looks up at him. Janus stares back. He doesn’t…wow, okay, something _happened._ And maybe yeah, Virgil should’ve asked more questions but that can wait. For now, they can just…sit.

“Virgil, when was the last time you ate something?”

“Dunno,” Virgil says, raising his voice so Patton can hear him.

“You should eat something,” Janus says quietly.

“I’m fine.”

“So,” Patton calls cheerfully, “sandwich?”

“I’m—“ Janus pokes his knee and Virgil _yelps—“sure!”_

“Coming right up!”

“ _Mean,_ ” Virgil grumbles as Janus chuckles.

“You need to eat, honey.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Virgil grumbles, “ _fine._ ”

He glances up and notices Logan.

Logan’s on the stairs, his hand still on the banister. He looks…well, he looks like Logan. Pressed and polished without a hair out of place. He—well, Virgil doesn’t know what he was _actually_ coming down for. What he _does_ know is that Logan saw and heard _all of that_ and is now giving him the ‘excuse-me-what-the-fuck’ look.

Virgil sends back the ‘you-think-I-know?’

‘It-happened-to-you!’

‘So?’

“Whenever you two are finished having an entire conversation in facial expressions,” Janus says wryly, making Virgil jump, “Logan, I’m _sure_ the staircase is comfortable.”

“It is, actually,” Logan says as he walks down, “I can see why Virgil prefers it.”

“Told you.”

Logan takes a seat and pulls out a notebook. He begins to work on…something, politely answering that yes, he ate a little over half an hour ago, he doesn’t need anything, and generally being…Logan.

Great. This is good. This is fine.

Janus nudges him to go eat. Patton doesn’t let him leave the kitchen until he’s at least eaten half of it. He sees Remus plop down next to Logan and Logan rolls his eyes, only for Remus to start muttering something and they vanish. Okay…cool.

No sooner has he finished his sandwich that he gets a tug in his chest.

Logan has his notebook _fully_ out and is scribbling something furiously. Remus is back on the crate, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Ah, Virgil. Good, you’re here.”

“What the _fuck_ is going on?”

“I recruited Logan,” Remus announces gleefully, “it’s gonna be fun!”

Virgil pinches the bridge of his nose. “With _what?_ ”

“How long has this been happening,” Logan asks, adjusting his glasses, “and do you know if it’s just you?”

“It’s been like…an hour tops? And I dunno, it like just—happened, okay? Why is this such a big deal? Why are we doing this?”

Remus cocks his head with a manic grin. “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer, absolute boredom!”

“You’ve watched that episode _way_ too many times.”

“Well, when they come out with a second one, I’ll watch that!” Remus cackles as Virgil sighs _again._ “Also have you noticed how much Sir Pentious looks like Janny?”

“It’s just ‘cause he’s a snake that you think of that.”

“He’s that much of a _dork._ ”

“So who does that make us, the eggs?”

Remus grins and before Virgil can blink, his morning star is in his hand. “Want to see if we splatter the same way?”

“I’m _fully_ good, dude.”

“Alright,” Logan says, completely ignoring the rest of their insane banter, looking up, “so, we think that both Janus and Patton will continue to behave paternally towards Virgil, correct?”

“Looks like it.”

“Fascinating.”

“Why? _Why_ is this fascinating?”

“Don’t look at us,” Remus says, “ _you’re_ the one that sank into my room and then had a crisis.”

“It’s just—look, everything’s been shit since the wedding—“ Logan winces and Virgil looks at him apologetically (he gets the ‘I-am-alright-it’s-not-your-fault’ for that)— “and this is the first non-dramatic shit thing that’s happened since that.”

“That is correct.”

“And it’s cute.”

“That is _also_ correct.”

“What—“ Virgil splutters— “no, it’s not!”

Logan’s mouth doesn’t _quite_ turn up at that but it’s close enough. “It is, in fact.”

“Leave me _alone._ ”

“We’re gonna do no such thing,” Remus announces gleefully, “so!”

They don’t. They don’t say a whole lot about it in _front_ of them, but there’s only so many times that Virgil can sit on this and not have them notice. _Especially_ since the two Sides that _happen_ to be doing this whole stupid co-parent thing are _also_ the most perceptive ones. That know Virgil really well.

_Fuck._

It’s a while of soft words and worried looks and reminders to eat and talk and be an _adult_ and hugs that should _not_ be that warm and Logan and Remus having the time of their goddamn lives while Virgil just…

Okay, he’s not _suffering,_ but _you_ try being co-parented by these two, okay?

Virgil’s cheeks have never been redder and his teeth have never hurt more.

“Do you actually experience physical discomfort in your mouth?”

“It’s an expression, L.”

“You are saying that they’re being sweet to you and you’re not used to it.”

“ _Yes,_ okay?”

“…cute.”

“Leave me _alone,_ L.”

As it turns out, Roman’s the one who puts the words to it first.

Roman’s not been having a good time. They all know it. They all need to talk about it and uh, they all probably owe Roman one hell of an apology. But they’re not there yet. Roman has to tell them when he’s ready to let them try. That doesn’t mean they don’t see Roman, he’ll come down for food or companionable silence.

They’re at dinner one time. Virgil’s getting scolded about not taking better care of himself—fair enough—and being made to eat. Roman doesn’t say anything until Virgil’s finished and Patton’s cleaning up. Then he looks back and forth between the three of them.

He turns to Logan and Remus.

“So were you two going to tell me that Virgil has two dads now or no?”

Virgil’s forehead has a very pleasant time acquainting itself with the table.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come yell at me on tumblr
> 
> https://a-small-batch-of-dragons.tumblr.com/


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